Addiction Sets You Up for Success

If you think this title is going to be a bait and switch, you're wrong! I do believe that those with addictions (of any kind) are meant to be the biggest movers and shakers in this world. It won't happen while active in it, but during the process of recovery and well after.

I like to say that I love all people, but I don't. I know, I know, "Christians are supposed to love everyone" right? Well, not really. The Bible tells us to love what God loves and hate what God hates. How can we hate what He hates, if we are to walk around with rose colored glasses ignoring the evils people adopt as their character? Yes, all humans are made in God's image, so for that, we should be on the same team; sadly, we aren't. Many would deem those with addictions to be the ones harboring the vast sin and malice most associated with evil, but I don't agree. The people I see committing the worst atrocities are the ones that have a large sense of entitlement. Believing that because they never fell into outright addiction, these beings of entitlement think than are somehow better, smarter, or more holy than us "screwed up" individuals. The reality is this: Entitled people don't know real pain, don't have high standards for themselves, evade accountability, lack empathy, have a nonexistent work ethic, and never had to fight for anything. What entitled people lack, addicts possess.....in abundance!

• REAL PAIN can only exist when you face real hardship. While some may argue that an argument with a spouse or reprimand from a boss is bad; it pales in comparison to consistent devaluation or absence of trustworthy friends and family. Entitled people think their small, temporary discomforts are the equivalent to the isolation and brainwashing many addicts endure for years or decades.

• STANDARDS are subjective in each individual. Many deem it a high standard to stay faithful and loyal to spouses, family, and friends, however, this standard is the bare minimum pertaining to any relationship. Money, social standing, and job title may lend to the appearance of having a high standard, but it's only a facade. Maintaining a particular economic stature has zero relevance to a personal standard of excellence. Addicts set their own standards so high, they are virtually unattainable. This is what leads to the addictions themselves.

• ACCOUNTABILITY is rare these days. While addicts take accountability for their mistakes and failures......they also tend to absorb other peoples' failures too. This will feel like a never-ending uphill climb, never reaching the top of the mountain. We see this as "we are not good enough". Entitled people do not have enough insight into their own behaviors to recognize mistakes, let alone be accountable for them! In the rare case that one is aware, instead of owning up to shortcomings, they will shift blame to any person willing to "take the blame" and carry a load that doesn't belong to him.

• EMPATHY is a gift and a curse. Feeling others' emotions and attempting to aid those in distress is a noble assignment, but it should be harnessed. Addicts have extremely high levels of empathy which can lead us to a place of desperate escape. It's hard enough to take on their own pain; but compounding that with the pain of others is overwhelming, frustrating, and when we cannot deliver comfort, feelings of "not being good enough" rear up once again. Entitled people have very low levels of empathy, if there is any at all! Self-absorption, greedy desires, and the quest for personal comfort means there is no extra thought or energy put into anyone else.

• WORK ETHIC should be strong in everybody. It's not. The younger generations think that completing a task without the ability to break and make a tic toc clip is like working for a slave driver. There is no sense of urgency to finish a project, and to do a task, well? Forget about it. The standards aren't there. Those with addictions work hard at everything. Many have driven themselves to a place of complete exhaustion. Their standards are high; aiming to please people and crave the feeling of accomplishment in a job well done. When that cannot be achieved in a relationship or work atmosphere......we turn to our addiction for a means of rest and rebooting.

• THE FIGHT that we thought every person has within, is alive and well in lives of addicts. It doesn't exist in entitled people. They give up at the first challenge. Thinking "someone else will do it" while going about business in their normal routine is what differentiates them from those who have suffered addiction. Addicts fight their surroundings, nay-sayers, demons, and drug of choice. They are resilient.

Why do I say addiction sets you up for success? Because what you learn about yourself during recovery is nothing less than magnificent. Yes, you made a ton of mistakes, but you didn't quit on life. You had higher standards, worked hard, fought through a mountain of crap, felt all the feels as well as took the pain that came with it. Then when you saw everything objectively, you admitted your failures and worked hard again! You have literal proof of your toughness. You can see your worth. How you are and the lessons you survived,

Feeling the feels

showed that what you can offer the world is something the world isn't used to: excellence and perseverance. Going forward, addicts will have a new respect for life, gratitude for those who are loyal, and love for people who have also overcome battles. Without the experience of hardship, they wouldn't be who they are today.