Why Do Eating Disorders Happen?

In the world of science, there are several explanations as to why someone may develop an eating disorder; I believe there are multiple reasons, but first and foremost, I think that the prerequisite is the soul.

It cannot be a coincidence that every person I have met whom has suffered from an ED (eating disorder), first has an unsettled spirit.

They want to look a certain way.......why?

They don't feel comfortable in their own body......why?

They lack healthy coping skills........why?

They are perfectionists............why?

They are frustrated.............why?

They lack control in their lives.......why?

You can never talk me out of my observation that every person with this illness has an extremely high emotional IQ paired with not only exceptional intelligence, but also a soul that is in search of a whole bunch of "whys" in their life and in the world around us. I can only state from personal experience that lacking healthy coping skills puts smart, empathetic people at risk of engaging in self-harm behaviors, like those of eating disorders.

It is rarely the intention of an EDer to slowly destroy their bodies just to "get back" at someone, or to "get attention", because that would mean that their soul is coming from a place of manipulation. Though some actions of manipulation can arise as the illness progresses, the guilt stemming from the awareness of the manipulative behavior only fuels the sufferer into more frequent and severe disordered eating patterns.

It has been studied (not very well), that people who are anorexic or bulimic belong to a certain demographic, economic status, and/or history of abuse. I say that those studies are flawed, just for the mere fact that many people belong to the same class and have suffered abuse yet still do not choose to partake in eating disorder behavior. I believe with my whole heart that eating disorders arise because the highly sensitive person simply does not know how to wrap their head around what is going on in their surroundings, or in their own minds. This feeling of helplessness makes us grasp onto any form of control that can make us feel "normal" in an increasingly chaotic environment. Sometimes the goal is to feel empty in order to numb ourselves from the pains we see other's going through. Sometimes we cannot escape our own thoughts and need something else to obsess about. Other times, we just want to fit into a world where we feel like we are outsiders. The main issue here is control. In any addiction, this seems to be the root of why it is so hard to quit a particular vice. Escape and control keep us hostage to ourselves, and funny enough, when the illness or addiction has a hold on us instead of us having a hold on it.....we now feel the need to "escape" our first attempt at escape, because we have now lost the control we once had from taking control.

If this sounds confusing; welcome to the mind of someone with eating disorders!

I once had a client that could not hit her target weight loss goal. She was bright, friendly, but had a very cloudy past full of sexual abuse, mental torment, and self- esteem issues. I would watch her stick to the diet I prescribed, knowing full well that my lack of specific measurements would prove challenging. I would cheer her on while I trained her body, knowing full well, that I was giving her tasks that no person could possibly accomplish. I did this all on purpose, because I knew through conversation and observation, that she was a perfectionist and would never quit. I also saw her gears turning every time she failed. Again, I did this on purpose. Why would I set someone up for certain failure? Because I could see that she needed PERMISSION from someone outside of herself, to not be perfect. It was an exercise showing that it was okay to be human.

After several months, and significant weight loss, I saw this girl slowly start to go back to her sloppy diet and not put the work in that she used to at the gym. Most people would think that she just got lazy, but knowing her personality, I knew that she was purposely sabotaging her progress. On one hand, she wanted to hit her goal so that she could finally have some feeling of accomplishment in her perfection; on the other hand, she was scared to hit her goal because that would mean that she now had a new set of guidelines in her mind that would make her find new coping outlets. Once the goal was attained: now what? It was bittersweet watching her struggle with her own mind. It wasn't until one incredible day when I saw her fully relent to her own mind and let go of what was always holding her back.

She timidly came to me to ask for a conversation, and informed me that she had been molested in her childhood, then molested again in her adoptive home, then raped yet once again in her early 20s. I stood there unaffected. She looked at me for a response where all I could say was "I already knew". How could I know that? Well, it ain't rocket science! An overweight woman with supreme intelligence, making all kinds of positive strides, just to end up holding herself back? To me, this was a no brainer! She needed to hold onto the weight so that men would not want to look at her. In her mind, the fat was a layer of protection against the types of men that had abused her.

Needless to say, after that confession and my lack of surprise; she hit her goal. She then went on to write a book about her life. Her story was now her platform. Sad to say that her new confidence kinda turned into a monster of pride and ego, but what can you expect from a perfectionist that still wants control? I'm sure her story is not over and I pray she is on the right track.

There was another lady I knew from the gym. I didn't work with her because she didn't need training, but we would find ourselves on adjacent stair stepper machines at 6 a.m. frequently! She was beautiful, funny, and hard working....then she got married. I don't know exactly what her relationship was like, but I can only assume that in some sense she lost her ability to control her own life in the manner in which she had been accustomed to. The 1 hour cardio sessions turned into a several hours long training camp; daily! She would only eat healthy food, but a TON of it, then burn off every calorie she consumed in the following workouts. One slice of watermelon turned into eating an entire watermelon! One serving of broccoli turned into 8 heads! All in one sitting. I watched her weight plummet. There was nothing I could do but watch and pray. Then when she got pregnant, it all seemed to change. She now had to control her eating and exercise so that she could birth a healthy baby. That control shift I think saved her life.

I trained a middle aged gentleman for a few years. Never could figure out why he hired me, I mean he was always built very well, and was very handsome and successful. He was smart and hardworking too. I started seeing an issue about 1 year into training. He wanted to get bigger. But why? His muscles were already big! And with his frame, anything bigger would be more detrimental to his joints than beneficial to his health. I had him log his food, and to my surprise, he was taking in mostly supplements and protein shakes, with very little real food. The "real" food was mostly garbage! Oh, and he drank (more than he admitted to me). I had him start eating real healthy food and changing up the workouts he had been doing for decades, and he was looking and feeling better than he ever had before! What next? Well, he decided that with this new body, if he went back to no food and supplements, then maybe he would get those gains he was looking for. Nope. Doesn't work that way! Instead, I saw depression and injury set in. He was failing and drinking more, which we know where that leads! Finally, I had a sit down with him. He suffered body dysmorphia and very low self esteem. He was a perfectionist, but his measure of perfection was something that he could not attain! You cannot "will" yourself to grow 6 inches at 50 years old. You cannot look like the 20 year old in the fitness magazines that are all hyped up on juice....when you are a business man with a wife, family, and other health conditions! I couldn't help this guy, but he definitely made me see that men suffer just as bad, if not worse, than most women when it comes to control, perfection, self- esteem, and eating disorders.

When I was still in my disorder, I had a high school wrestler come talk to me. It was no secret that I had been starving myself, and taking laxatives/throwing up anytime I did consume anything. He thought that I was a safe person to talk to. He told me to not let people get to me because they all do what I was doing to one point or another. He admitted to me that he, himself made himself throw up before meets, so he could "make weight". It was very common on the wrestling team, yet nobody talked about it. It was just accepted as part of the sport!

"Dirty bulk" is a phrase I never understood in the bodybuilding world. This is when a person is trying to put on some weight so that they can increase their muscle mass. It is true that having some extra insulation while lifting can protect joints, what is not preached about is the consumption of throw away calories and the effects it has on your organs, hormones, and ability to heal. Instead of eating clean, timing meals and workouts, and getting proper rest; many bodybuilders will take the route of eating a whole large pizza as an appetizer for the 5 Big Macs they will eat for dinner.....all in pursuit of "bulking". What is even crazier, is that they do this so that when they "shred" down for summer or a competition, they will seem to have more muscle! Shredding consists of calorie restriction. In my opinion, the habit of dirty bulking and shredding is nothing more than social and sport accepted disordered eating. If strength is supposed to be an indicator for a healthy lifestyle; these practices surely are not sending the right message.

Why am I sharing all of these stories? To illustrate that disordered eating is not that uncommon, it arises for various reasons, and if we do not start trying to attack the issues associated with them, then we will never make progress in treatment.