Attracting Crappy People?

This post will fit into all of the categories on this site. Eating disorders? Check! Addictions? Check! Spiritual warfare? Check! ALL people I know that have, (or had) eating, drug, or abuse issues complain of the same thing: CRAPPY PEOPLE. What is it that attracts these people to us? Well, there are a lot of reasons, but I've narrowed it down a bit.

1. They know that you're strong.

2. They know that you have empathy.

3. They know that you are (or were) damaged.

4. Misery loves company.

5. Pure evil.

I bet you are wondering how I'm going to explain these, huh? Well, I hope I don't disappoint!

KNOWING YOU'RE STRONG:

If you have ever shared your testimony or recovery with anyone, be assured that word has gotten around. I have always said that people that have survived some major issues are usually the "chosen" ones set apart by God. There is a light inside of you, and it got brighter when you finally were victorious over your battle. A lot of people who are still suffering will want what you have. They want to thrive and get on with life in a healthy way. Most times, these people are not willing to get honest with themselves, or put in the hard work, effort and faith it took for you to recover. Somehow, they think they will become victors through osmosis! If they hang around with you, ask for your advice, take from your energy, and get addicted to your encouragement...they foolishly believe that they will follow in your footsteps. These people are crappy, because no matter how much you try to help them, they will never get better since they are lazy in their own recovery. They want it easy, and it just doesn't work that way!

YOU HAVE EMPATHY:

Let's face it, you got into your illness or addiction because you feel all the feels. Not only that, you can also feel the feels of OTHERS. Having a high level of empathy is a gift, but many people will take advantage of it. Because you went through the fire and felt the pain, you are more apt to help others avoid that same kind of pain------these crappy people know it! They will take your kindness as a weakness and use it to use you, your ideas, your skills, heck, even mimic your personality, then when it's all said and done, they will throw you away like last week's trash! People with empathy are very good listeners. We give people the benefit of the doubt, and we believe that it's never too late to make changes to be and do better, because after all, WE did it! The sad fact is, people attracted to highly empathetic people come into your life to extract from you. Very rarely will you ever have a non- transactional relationship with any of them.

DAMAGED:

Harsh word, but am I wrong? People don't get into drug addiction or eating disorders because they are emotionally healthy. We get into it because we lack coping skills, suffered abuses, and have low self esteem. We tend to be tougher on ourselves than anyone else is, which is a huge problem, because it's not easy to walk away from yourself. Crappy people will come into your life when they know you have been damaged. They think that since you put yourself through hell, then heck, it won't matter if they do too! In the back of their head, they believe that somewhere inside of you, you think you deserve to be punished for sins of your past. They have no problem tearing you down, in fact, they think you like it. Most times, damaged people have a hard time sticking up for themselves. We have imposter syndrome. Crappy people can detect this, and use our past damage against us. Don't let them!

MISERY LOVES COMPANY:

Because you were (or are) an addict or EDer, you will be infiltrated with people who suffer the same things, (even though on a possibly smaller level). I remember when I got sober. I thought all my friends would be happy for me, but instead, I lost every single one. I know longer drank, and it made them feel guilty every time I was the designated driver or was the only one who could recollect the previous night's embarrassing behaviors of everyone. Same happened in ED group. I was looked down upon for putting on weight as though I was now a fat pig who was an over-achiever...or even worse, someone who had become a traitor. Crappy people like other crappy people. Sick people like being around sick people. Addicts are comfortable with addicts. Bulimics have their own language with other bulimics. Once you have decided to say goodbye to your old miserable life, you will have some stragglers trying to lure you back in.

PURE EVIL:

Crappy people (in my opinion) are all pure evil. They look for your weakness and vulnerabilities and exploit them. They will embarrass you, humiliate you, heap shame upon you, be jealous of you, lie about you,

character assassinate you, gossip about you....and that is just the start. Pure evil loves when others are miserable. It's the only way crappy people can feel good about their crappy selves! Manipulation, control, and lies can come in the form of a pretty lady (or handsome man) who pretends to think the world of you. Best bet is to always judge by the fruit. Also be aware of the spiritual nature of people and events. If someone has a family or friend circle that happen to all be EDers, addicts, or crappy people, you can bet your bottom dollar that there is some kind of demon attached to this person. Pure evil wants to dampen the light, if not put it out all together. If they can't destroy you, they will make sure that they steer you towards destroying yourself, or at very least, prevent you from thriving in all the ways God has designed you to do so!