Personality Traits of an EDer

As I have stated before, I am no doctor, but it doesn't take a genius to observe and take note of obvious things.

I like to be a spectator of the human condition, heck, I built an entire career on just paying attention! Paying attention to body language, movement, odors, expressions, presentation, speech patterns, you name it. Just as I pay attention to athletes and special populations, so as what I do with people with eating disorders, and boy, oh boy, did I gather a ton of insight!

Unlike the stigma that has been around for decades, people with eating disorders are not just "spoiled rich white girls" trying to get their daddy or husband's attention. Quite the contrary actually. Most people who suffer severe eating disorders try to keep it secret as to not draw attention to themselves, thus blowing holes through the theory that these behaviors are just to gain attention. True enough, as in any other self-sabotaging illness and/or suicide....there inevitably is a cry for help hard wired within that person, but like I said; we don't want to call attention to ourselves, hence the truly sick will either ask for help once the illness is ready to claim their physical lives or they will die.

So, what exactly are we to look for if we suspect someone has developed an eating disorder? First things first! I will wait to give the tangible or physical signs to watch out for because far prior to these indicators, we have some groundwork to cover! There are life experiences and histories that shape our personalities and perspectives in life: this is the true start point!

Eating disorders do not discriminate. They occur in men, women, gay, straight, Christians, Muslims, Atheists, European, African, American, poor, rich.....you get my point! You can't pigeon-hole who eating disorders effect. But one thing that rings in every case, is that it occurs in humans with certain ways of thinking, acting, and feeling.

By no means is this a scientific study, but merely years of my data gathering. What I see present in sufferers from eating disorders is the same thing I see in people with other addictions, and even those with autism. They all have their own language and complicated way of processing information; usually emotional information to be specific. Addicts and people on the spectrum all share a commonality with people having eating disorders and that is called: NOT FEELING LIKE WE QUITE BELONG. As a Christian, I know that this feeling is a direct hit from the enemy of our souls (to make us feel unworthy, undervalued, and we are alone in the way we think), but in the natural world we live in, these thoughts prove to be truth. Many of us do not fit in or belong anywhere because we are called to a higher purpose.

People with eating disorders are highly empathetic. We try to help people any time we can, and we do this often to our own detriment. We are good listeners, problem solvers, creative thinkers, and if we can't help others' battle their pain, we take it on ourselves. Nurses, adoptive parents, bartenders, waitresses, chefs, trainers, well, anyone in the public service industry, are all primed for developing an addiction of some kind, (unless they are a psychopath) because we are wired to help and serve other people. We not only devote our lives to aiding others attain their goals, but we can actually feel the emotions of the people we surround ourselves with. When we fail to help someone, (by no fault of our own) we take it out on ourselves and then search for a way to create comfort in our minds. This is where addiction happens. Yes, I do consider EDs as a form of addiction....with a few bullet points added.

People with EDs are above average in intelligence. This can be used for good, but once the addiction takes over, it sadly becomes a weapon for evil. I can't even count how many times I manipulated health care people when I was sick. It wasn't to hurt them, but my intelligence was used to get them to leave me alone! I already knew what the nutritionist wanted me to eat and in the proper quantity, so I would report what she was going to recommend before she opened her mouth. I lied, but hey, anything to get me out of that office! The intelligence also works against us when it comes to justifying our behaviors. We can formulate complex reasons (excuses) to further drive us into the illness, while trying to keep our conscience clear. Of course, we know the truth deep down inside, feel shame for trying to fool others and then we get worse because of that too! The ways we conceal our illness is nothing short of insane magnificence. We will spend time and energy formulating plans on where we can eat that has a one stall bathroom to vomit in. We will cut our food up small, move it around the plate and cover it up with condiments just so we can appear to be eating. We will hoard our food wrappers in secret spots and carefully plan which public trash bin to throw it in, all in a way to make sure that nobody finds out the real disgusting nature of the things we are doing.

* I am not proud of using my intelligence this way in the past, but I must say it has come in handy when detecting harmful manipulators that use these same means of planning in order to abuse others. God really does turn things that are bad for us into something good if we let Him!

People with eating disorders have a level of OCD. Yes, you heard that correctly! Many times the quest to lose weight isn't some haphazard plan that we stumble upon. We play mental games with ourselves. We have an unquenchable urge to engage in certain behaviors just so we can breathe and not spiral into a full-on panic. Just as someone with OCD may feel like he has to wash his hands 12 times before bed, or lock the door 7 times before work; the EDer also has a set of regulations (of our making) that we must complete in order to go on about our day. For me, it was checking to see how far up my thumb and middle finger could wrap around my arm; if I could make it only an inch above my wrist, then I failed- I was too fat, and I had to take greater measures to lose weight. I trained myself to keep to a vomit schedule too. Two times in the morning, and several times each day depending on where I was and whom I was with.

People with eating disorders are generally extremely friendly and talented. When you meet a talented person, you can't help but want to get to know them! EDers usually have a ton of talents, gifts, and abilities. Because of their high intelligence and empathy, they are capable of mastering almost any task assigned to them, whether it be playing piano, cooking a 7 course meal to perfection, acing all their exams, or caring for another person or animal; they will be amazing. To the downfall of the EDer, all of these skills and talents, creates even more anxiety within them. As people who tend to be too hard on themselves and have an expectation to be perfect (something family usually has assigned them to be, and something never expect from someone else), we feel that if we don't use every talent in a specific time period, then we are failures. That brings us back to wanting to escape life....and the eating disorder continues.

This is not an exhaustive list of personality traits....it is just a general observation. This is not a list of co-morbidities either (I need another post for that). In my experience, I can usually guess with some accuracy what person is going to suffer any kind of addiction. The people that choose food are the ones that know that this path is deadly, but in our minds make us feel like we are only hurting ourselves.