Eating Out and EDs

A condition of my release from the nutty bin (where they put uninsured eating disorder patients), was to go eat at a restaurant while on a day pass. I cannot believe how they could do that. It makes no sense! This hospital had one of THE top eating disorder doctors in the state, yet "recovery" was deemed successful if the number on the scale was up and if you could eat out in public?

Even though I am fully recovered, I still don't understand how this method is in any way appropriate for someone struggling with disordered eating. Food= anxiety in the world of anorexics and bulimics. The stress of even looking at a plate of food is hard enough, but to ask them to do it in a place where you don't know how the food was prepared, the limited options, the smells, the people staring? Ugh! Putting an ED sufferer in a position where he or she feels obligated to finish most of what is on her plate while people are staring every time a fork is brought to her mouth is boarder line psychological abuse. In my book "BARF", there is a section that explains this.

If someone was trying to get clean from heroine, would the doctor put him in a room full of the drug, needles, spoons, foil, and lighters? NO! The doctor would tell his patient to stay far away from such things! So why is it okay to put an anorexic in an environment that tempts her or brings up massive amounts of anxiety? It is NOT okay! I once read an article about a treatment facility that MADE anorexics and bulimics "face their fear food". They bragged about how forcing an anorexic to eat pizza was

a good thing for recovery. I shake my head at such things. True, people with eating disorders have "trigger" foods that scare the heck out of us, but in most cases these "trigger" foods are greasy, unhealthy, fatty, sugary, and not something that any healthy person should be consuming anyway! What is so wrong with avoiding the big "trigger" foods? Why is it a problem to promote healthy eating, when we should all be taught that food is the body's best medicine?!

I think the best form of food introduction therapy is to initiate cooking classes. The EDer is a servant at heart anyway, so cooking for others is gratifying! It gives us a sense of purpose. Plus, (and this is a big ol' bonus) when we prepare food, it is customary to test taste every step of the way. This is a good way to have your cake and eat it too, so to speak. In an EDers mind, (well, mine at least) tasting one bite of something didn't "count" as eating. It was part of the job of being chef! Those little morsel tests add up and can ease the anxiety of having to gaze at a full plate of food. We need to make eating less of an event for people trying to recover. Food is their drug of choice, and it is overwhelming to have to go to a place dedicated to serving your drug, let alone forcing someone to clean their plate in order to prove that they are trying to get well.

15 years recovered, and I still hate going out to eat. Between digestive issues, lack of healthy options, and pricing, I would much rather stay home, meal prep, and wear my sweats when I take my "medicine"! Eating out should never be forced upon anyone with eating issues, just as someone with a fear of heights shouldn't be shoved off of a plane with a parachute! Just because family, friends, and doctors haven't suffered from a food fear, doesn't give them the right to preach. EDers deal with food, other people fear insects, rodents, clowns, public speaking, etc.......

People who really want to get better from EDs WILL put in effort, so be mindful of what you ask of them. Be willing to see the restaurant through their eyes, and don't shame them for wanting to stay in a safe place while reigniting a healthy relationship with food.